emphasising the negative

i realise how much the negative has taken over my life

why is it that as i continue to reflect on my life as a whole, its the bad things that stand out? I mean, there have been a lot of good things, but even they seem to be painting in darker tones than they should, and well, they are wandering around as barely recognisable extras in a cast full of charecters such as doubt, guilt, dishonesty, greed and disguise.

i imagine that this sentiment is brought on by a number of things taking place at the moment - illness, busyness, assignments hanging over my head, poor use of time. etc. but... i also realise that maybe this is just the way i have come to view the world, a way in which isnt going to change in a hurry unless i truly want it to, a way which is going to dominate until i take it off its thrown and replace it with something much more enriching and constructive.

thats not to say that we shouldnt examine the negative, we can learn from these times. but dwelling in them is less that healthy, its like letting these things fester and grow and become what they should have never been.

so, i think i shall stop moping and soaking in my own negativity and turn a new page. one of positivity. one of possibilities, not shortcomings.

lets see how this goes, and what the week is like.
i need to do my essay, paint the ceilings (2 coats), go to physio, and start eating well. so... how can these things fit into this picture... not too sure? but we'll see.