what is change?

So, i find myself in an interesting place. A place that is somewhat frustrating, somewhat boring, and well some what exciting all at once. I wonder... Did I get to this place by accident? Did i push myself there. Actually. I don't wonder that too much, i know the answer. Sometimes the pasive things in our lives are the most controlling. In a bizarre twist of lyrical tastes I have to lament the words of Eddie Vedder, "I change by not changing at all". Don't get me wrong, I have changed, we all constantly do, but maybe some of the most obvious change is the product of not changing.

Let me flick back to the top. This interesting, frustrating, boring, exciting, blah blah blah place.

Frustrating... I was going to graduate this year. Now I'm not, and again, strange twists, its by choice. If I hold off for a bit, I can get a degree with a little more oomf for the future (B.Th. as opposed to B.Min.). So its just weird to be honest. I think it will also naturally lead to me taking a chunk of the summer to get all my stuff into Rich, he's too soft on me, and I'm too lazy. The other key frsutration for me has to do with time. I wish I woke up tomorrow and it was Christmas Day, well to be honest, I'm really hanging for the first couple of weeks of January, but I wouldnt want to miss out on Christmas presents would i? What am I doing next year is a question that wont go away, and well, how much time i give to various projects wont be decided upon til the school year kicks off, so... in the words of Paul Kelly "roll on summer roll on".

Boring... Why do we (as humanity) struggle with the same things over and over. I've already aluded to my poor grasp on time management (oh how guild wars wastes time), and well, I've managed to be back at the weight I was at the beginning of the year (after dropping to 113, I'm back at 128). I think its a reality for most of us, the same things just keep coming back up, biting us in the bum. Sure, I have dealt with some stuff that is well and truly dealt with, but I'm definately a work in progress. A somewhat mundane, monotonous drone. But hey, I'm not down on myself... I think most of us are like that.

SWOOSH... just need to change tone for a sec.
A friend of mine studying social work was telling me how draining it can be, how they hit you with reality. And well... it messes with you at times, how the world sucks. I concurred, but then after a little thought wrote back saying that the world is funny. If we look hard enough, we can find great, beautiful (beret word) things in the most unlikely places, and... vice versa (or vi-see ver-see if you like). Anyways, thanx mate for getting me thinking about that...
SWOOSH...

Exciting... I wont go into this too much, dont want to lull myself into a false sense of whatever... But I truly belive that some exciting things are before me and us. Its just getting there. I heard some news about a friend today that was exciting (can't share sorry). But, the world can be as sad or happy, or whatever, as we want it to be...

Thats it from me for now.
Hopefully it wont be another 2 months...

i